The King of Broken Things

The King of Broken Things

Sticks and stones can break bones but words alone can’t break you. I agree with the lead, that’s a false assertion. Words have the ability to cripple your soul, they matter, it’s how we create our reality. Positive words are better and lighter than the negative ones. Negative words are heavy and weigh you down. I loved the show, it’s powerful, philosophical and sheds a light on the human condition. We are all broken and that’s okay because we can be fixed and made better. Broken things have personality and scars tell a story, that’s how you know you have lived. Kintsugi, a Japanese custom that mounts together broken things with gold to show their character and resilience is central to the play’s message and tone. Broken things can be more valuable than those that don’t have a blemish, that’s the idea of art, renewal and rebirth. You don’t throw away something because it’s broken, you fix it and make it truly yours, you renew it and give it personality. That’s what the lead did when he changed his broken flask into a vase, he took the broken insides of the flask and stuck them outside, the end result is beautiful as the flask is changed into a vase that reflects like a mirror. Of course collecting broken things makes you a hoarder and there’s something psychological about being a hoarder. You can’t let go, you think you can fix, control and restore things back to the way they were or better, you trapped in a loop, you don’t want to grow up. We see this from the lead, he hasn’t been right since his father left, his mother too. He has this yearning to fix it, restore things to how they were because deep down he’s broken. This brokenness manifests as a person being a hoarder of broken things. That’s how artists are born, Kintsugi, and it’s this brokenness that makes them invaluable and beautiful because they capture the world in a way that we can feel. Life is a feeling process and broken things have felt. We are all broken, we think we can fix and control life when in actual fact the Universe is indifferent to us and our whims, but we do it anyways because it’s life and we do have a degree of control, so we create memories, moments, art, because that is what the human condition is all about. It’s easy to throw away things because it rids you off the responsibility but you fail to appreciate the beauty of that thing, everything has soul, beauty and it is in the way that your frame your words that will dictate what you see.

The show touched me, I loved it! I also learned about Japanese philosophy, Kintsugi, will stay with me beyond today, I will take it with me all my life. Amazing performer Cara Roberts is, so childlike, sweet and innocent. The cape, the flying, inquisitiveness, very realistic and believable. Loved the acting, simply put unbelievable! The facial expressions, mannerisms, how she delivered her words, how she made use of the stage, it was a complete performance. She was captivating, she had the crowds attention the whole time, we all cared what she had to say, she commanded the stage, she had real energy, she brought life and meaning to those words, enthusiasm beamed from out of her, she was amazing. A big credit to the writer and director of the show Micheal Taylor-Broderick, perfection is my humble opinion. The lighting was perfect, best suited for an intimate crowd. That was a great show, powerful, that last scene with the robot and the sleeping boy was the best ending ever! Another great one Sam, thank you. Congratulations to the whole team and a deserved standing ovation.

antakalipa – The King of Broken Things

Witness For The Prosecution

Witness For The Prosecution

Well, I didn’t expect that, so many twists and turns. I really thought Mr. Vole was innocent, I thought he was set up for sure. He pleaded his case with defiance. There’s no ways he could have murdered Mrs. French in cold blood, she was his friend. So what he inherited all her money and was looking at boats the week before her death. These things happen, besides death comes for all of us. Yes, Mr. Vole is a young handsome man with his whole life ahead, is unemployed and had everything to gain from Mrs. French’s death but it’s lazy to label him a murderer. He could have been framed. I was suspicious of everyone earlier in the play. Myself and the gentleman sitting next to me were not convinced of the charge brought against Mr. Vole and when his devoted wife Romaine, was called up as a witness for the prosecution, the alarm bells rang louder. The beautiful foreign girl lied to the jury and was a poor alibi. Instead of helping her husband, she made things worse! She fabricated details whilst his husband was protesting. I felt sorry for Mr. Vole, he vehemently protested his innocence, he was sweating, he was lively, active, on his feet, letting the jury know that he did not kill Mrs. French. That’s when I knew that he was innocent and that it was his wife Romaine who had murdered Mrs. French, the gentleman next to me concurred. Romaine played by the super talented Sharon Spiegel-Wagner is clearly a femme fatale, she oozes sexuality, is dressed in red and when we are first introduced to her, smoke is released from the stage and she makes her grand entrance, music in the background and she takes her sweet time walking. She’s a siren, a real work of art, it’s easy to see why “Leonard kisses the ground she walks on”. She strikes me as the murderer because of the fact that she’s a foreigner and her dubious character. It’s also revealed that she is not even married to Mr. Vole, she’s actually a Helm, still married to her husband living in Belgium. I disliked Romaine more and more as the play went on, a big cognitive dissonance. Sir. Wilfrid played by Graham Hopkins and his junior counsel John Mayhew played by Craig Jackson work exceedingly hard to prove Mr. Voles innocence. They succeed as the jury deliver their verdict – NOT GUILTY! But there’s a twist, it turns out he was guilty and his wife knew, she protected him and fabricated evidence to get him out of the hook earning charges of perjury in the process. That’s not all, it turns out Mr. Vole has a blonde mistress she was planning to elope with, leaving Romaine behind. In a heated exchanged, Romaine stabs and kills his husband. All this happens while still in court with Sir. Wilfrid and his assistant watching in the distance. So in addition to her perjury charge, Romaine will also be trialed for the murder of her husband Leonard Vole.

Unbelievable show! I didn’t know where to look, what to expect. Shocking! Thriller! Drama! Suspense! Agatha Christie is a master, great show. Respect to Graham Hopkins, a true legend, his acting was a masterclass, how he delivers his words, the accent, his posture, mannerisms and stature, it was his show, everything revolved around him, he killed it! Shout-out Peter Terry who plays Mr. Justice Wainwright and Mike Huff as Mr. Myers.

I thought the show had Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” influence. It’s centers around the same topics, murder and human nature. It’s clear I don’t have a clear understanding of both, I thought Mr. Vole was innocent despite the overwhelming evidence against him. Dostoevsky’s character Raskolnikov, doesn’t murder to inherit a fortune, he murders in cold blood because he is vile, ugly and because he can. He murders because he is in a position of power over the elderly woman, because he doesn’t see the use of the elderly woman living, because God won’t stop him. Dostoevsky documents Raskolnikov’s psyche, he is in a mess, he is haunted, he can’t sleep, he loses weight, he is sick, he is overwhelmed with guilt – the magistrate in charge of murders and equipped with a shrewd understanding of criminal psychology sees all of this, he torments him with his appearance, questions, he sees right through him. Ultimately Raskolnikov confesses and hands himself over. Leonard Vole didn’t exhibit all of this behavior, could he be a sociopath? Stories like this teach you a lot about human nature, it’s interesting to contrast them. “Witness For The Prosecution” is a thought-provoking show that depicts how absurd the human condition is, Albert Camus would be so proud.

I am not going to act like Sharon Spiegel-Wagner isn’t my Achilles heel, she’s the best and she delivered yet again. If I had my way, I’d see her every day. She’s an incredible, amazing, beautiful, talented woman and the show is exhibit A. She performs at a high level and everyone shines. Graham Hopkins and Craig Jackson are the pulse, they hold the show together, some of the shows best dialogue comes from them, they have amazing chemistry and synergy. Greta, played by Dianne Simpson was one of my favorite characters, she was amazing and funny. Brett Kruger as Leonard Vole is excellent. The show was well-written, the performers were amazing and the direction and lighting perfect. The lighting and smoke was pretty awesome! It’s an experience, I felt like I was in that courtroom. I loved that the set was not fixed, it kept on changing, that was appealing to my eyes and it helped with the mood that the director tried to evoke and convey. Some actors committed to double shifts, playing more than one character, wow, the mastery you have to achieve to do that, unbelievable craftsmanship. Congratulations to Alan Swerdlow and the whole team for a great, great show and a deserved standing ovation!

antakalipa – Witness For The Prosecution

DARK PSYCHOLOGY

DARK PSYCHOLOGY

DARK PSYCHOLOGY now available on Youtube:

the great man
ANTAKALIPA

On the square II: Dress Code script

On the square II: Dress Code script

After “Dress Code” things went downsouth for me. It was the girls who kept me relevant for a month, they loved me. They made it hard for Daphne to get rid of me. They would always shower me with gifts, kisses and hugs. Honestly it was like heaven, I felt like I was floating walking on clouds, I was all soft inside, I was intoxicated by them, I was in awe of their talent, I loved them. I did everything above and beyond to please them, I treated them like royalty, like the stars they were, with reverence and awe. I executed every request with efficiency and care. The stage was spotless before the show and the mirrors reflected like diamonds. Cliff’s (Piano guy) water was iced and always on time and on queue before the show. I was professional, courteous, smelled good and dressed with real personality. I was the eye of God who kept watch over everything and addressed every significant or insignificant thing that had the power to affect the tone of the show. It was all about excellence. They were very happy with me. The girls flooded Daphne’s email with compliments about me, she was elated and she opened her purse for me. I accepted but it was never about the money. Quite clearly it was the girls who kept me in the theatre for that long, the staff at the theatre only needed someone to assist for 2-3 day’s tops. “Move in” day can be tough and time consuming as you welcome a new act to the theatre, sets need to be on the stage and it requires planning and thinking. There’s also the issue of the sound and lights, they need to be programmed to the system. Without the sound and lights, you don’t have a show. It’s just a casual job and the guys who help out do their two days and it’s done. A lot of the times the theatre uses young students who are keen to learn about theatre to help out. It’s a win for both sides, the student learns and gets practical and the theatre don’t have to pay for labor. That considered, I stayed for a month! I was also the usher for the girls show and generally everybody liked me and that’s the problem, I was magnetic, likeable and had a ton of charisma, illuminating the place and setting the mood for the show – I was too perfect. Inevitably envy and jealousy sets in and I became a target. Human nature and narcissistic tendencies, I refrained from responding and reacting, I observed like a bystander and was amused by the human condition. I knew what caused the hysteria, mainly that I was too amazing and I couldn’t help myself. I had no flaw, I came early for work, had a lot of enthusiasm, executed every task with perfection and everybody loved me. Around the 3rd week Daphne called me to her office and took my particulars. She asked what I was good at, education, skills and talents and so I shared. We talked for a while and she said she wished she had something for me. Her roster was full. I acknowledged but I was just there for the love. After that meeting I definitely felt the room getting smaller, it was like she was pushing me out but life went on and I got more  responsibilities. On the last day of “The Dress Code” as we were clearing the stage, I asked the director “Alan Swerdlow” for the script, I wanted it for it’s format, structure and I was really in love with the writing, it was witty, urban and well written. I also wanted to learn the skill of writing scripts for theatre. Alan liked my energy and appreciated everything I did for the girls, he gave it to me. After knockoff, Reginah from her car saw me from afar with the script and asked “Are you holding a script?”. I walked to her vehicle and replied “Yes”. She continued “You are not supposed to have that”, to which I replied “The director gave me the script”. She replied “No, you are not supposed to!”, I countered “But I want it”, I had the script in my hands. She started having a narcissistic fit and threw tantrums wanting to get out of the car. I watched her attempts to bully me off the script and I walked away from the scene with the script in hand. I left her shouting alone, she was wasting my time. It’s my fault, I encouraged her behavior hoping it would dissipate but she only got more controlling and overbearing, it was time for a receipt. As I was walking away, she shouted “Don’t come back on Tuesday”. It was the same Reginah who took 33% of my pay. She didn’t ask, she just took it in a power move. After “The Dress Code” Move In, Daphne delegated the task of paying me to her. She called me into a room, reached into her pocket and took out R300, gave me R200 and took the R100 stating that she needed it more and that she’d pay me back, she never did. I always resented that action, it was like she was entitled to my pay. I deserved the full R300! She didn’t ask me, if she had I would have given it to her, she took all the power away from me and took it! I judged her character that day and a receipt was definitely on the cards – she was going to respect me!

I defied her and came back on Tuesday. There was no way I was missing “Vincent’s” Move In. I wanted to help with the production, I had been anticipating it for quite some time and luckily, I still had Daphne, she was reasonable, she’d see things my way. When I got to the theatre Reginah isolated me from the team and instructed me to wait for Daphne so we can discuss this script issue. In an act of power, she brought in a student to take my place. Gaslighting, she was downplaying my importance to the theatre, communicating that I was inferior and disposable. I saw that for what it was – insecurity. Everybody loved me and it was warranted, I was a hard worker. I wasn’t concerned, I was fine with any outcome, I stood by my decision to walk away with the script that night, I simply wanted it more, if not for the content then the hopeful connections it had the power to grant me. Daphne came in and we discussed the case. Reginah presented her inaccurate version, filled with slander and smear campaigns in attempts to get me to react. It was just pure lies concocted by her imagination. She was vicious, disagreeable and incoherent, a blind man could see that she was attacking me. She wanted to control me so much that she lost control. I was calm. I presented my case and took responsibility for taking the script and as anticipated, Daphne understood. I went back to the team and helped with the production of “Vincent”, flirting with my female student replacement in the process. In no time my replacement was hooked and mesmerized by my aura. She too was on my side. This was definitely not in Reginah’s plans. I survived but hostilities were brewing. “Vincent” was a success and my replacement stopped coming to the theatre so I reigned. I understand human nature and I realize I was a missed hit, I know a target is still on my back, so I decided to leave on my own terms before things spiraled out of control, I’ll be back later, when things are calmer, when I am in control.

I came back 3 weeks later and everybody welcomed me back with open arms, the script issue was all in the past, they were just so happy to see me. It was the girls who kept me relevant for a month, they loved me and I love them forever.

Receipts II

Receipts II

I am a cool guy, I ain’t got beef with anyone. I serve up what you give out. If you treat me good and with respect you’ll receive that a thousand fold, but if you an asshole I am happy to dish out shit. No excuses, no privileges, control yourself. I am a pro at your passive aggressive antics – what? Did you honestly think that you were smarter than everybody else? Funny guy, out of sync, you ain’t shit. I see through disguises too, masks can’t fool real eyes. If you want beef I am happy to serve it on a platter. If you organizing a hit, make sure it sticks cause if you botch it, I am coming for your soul. I am tired of being humble, I am the greatest of all time, come close and I’ll show you, anytime, any place. Receipts, receipts, receipts I am happy to reflect your tastes. If you want a battle, I am happy to oppose you. Words don’t count, it’s your actions that are gold. I am a fucked up person too and I am ready to exercise my repressions. Receipts, apologies don’t mean much prepare yourself for my comeback. I hold grudges, I never forget and I am coming for your ass. Receipts, don’t start wars you can’t finish. No negotiations, no treaties, everything will end up in fire and smoke. Cause I don’t give a shit, I am narcissistic, grandiose, egotistic, irrational and envious, so please give me an opportunity to exercise my nature. Receipts, cross the line please, I am begging you! Disrespect me, slander me, make me the scapegoat and I’ll show you why I am the goat. Receipts, receipts, receipts you on an imaginary pedestal, time to take you down and humble ya. Receipts, cause I also don’t care, I am after power, I am merely a reflection of you.

Cautionary tale (Persistence of life)

Cautionary tale (Persistence of life)

Money can’t save your soul, it’s illusory like fairy-dust, made-up, a figment of your imagination. Cause one day you have it and the next you don’t. Even if you have barrels of it like Walter White, it can’t buy you love, it’s insufficient to buy you life, it’s meaningless. Saul and Mike had 7 million in cash and they would have traded it all for a glass of water, cause 7 million in cash is worthless when you are in the dessert trapped in the scotching heat dehydrating your body of fluids, leaving you dry, stretched out like biltong. Cautionary tale money feels good now but what did you do to get it? Criminality and drugs have fixed endgames namely being murdered or a lengthy prison spell. There’s no wiseguy on the street, even the bosses get taken out, you will get outsmarted, you will be marked and you will get taken out. Cautionary tale, crime doesn’t pay, it robs you off your peace and state of mind. The bitches leave after you cum and the drugs just numb the pain but the persistence of life guarantees yesterday’s pain and empty void. Cautionary tale money is just paper or numbers on the screen. What matters most is relationships and bonds you share with others. What matters most is love, real love, your family, your friends and everyone you hold close to your heart. Cautionary tale, 7 figures can’t fix what you are, you’ll just be an asshole with 7 figures that no one likes. Cautionary tale, get your soul in order, treat others how you’d like to be treated, show empathy, love, be grateful for life, take it one day at a time, take it easy. The cars on magazines look great until you get them and start taking them for granted, cause greed is like an insatiable desire that spreads every time a level is reached. The power, the greed, corruption it never stops cause money never stops, it’s all in your head. Cautionary tale, don’t take someone for granted because of money. Don’t disrespect or put another person down because of money cause a bullet in the head makes us all equals. Cautionary tale, cautionary tale, everything is cause and effect, when you take a soul for money, you will lose your own. Cautionary tale, what matters most is temperance, justice, God and love. Cautionary tale, all that you have is your soul. Cautionary tale, slow down, you moving at a fast pace, you have snort too much cocaine, the feds are on your case, the bitches are all the same, your family has moved to Spain, you are alone. Cautionary tale, you have lost everything, you have money but can’t spend it on anything and burning it won’t accomplish anything. Cautionary tale, everybody gets caught or ends up dead, don’t sell your soul for a fleeting distraction cause the persistence of life will still hold you accountable.

The bad guys

The bad guy

Better call Saul is basically a show about a guy doing bad stuff. As his arc progresses he does more bad things and encounters bad people. A scumbag Lawyer who resorts to underhanded tricks and creative methods to win his cases. He will fabricate evidence, smear your reputation, deceive, manipulate to make you the demon, morality is not a vice. He went from serving senior citizens with their wills and estates to serving hardened criminals, prostitutes and junkies. Nonetheless, his the perfect guy to get you out of a rock and a hard place. Colorful, eccentric, slippery and unpredictable, presiding judges never know what to expect. He knows how to get you out of a sure thing. Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould will make you cheer for the bad guy, cause if everyone in the show is a bad guy, who are you going to root for? Obviously the guy with Halocaust numbers and that makes you contemplate about your human nature. Am I as pure as I would like to believe? Am I a good guy? Do I want to be a good guy? Cause Saul learned a lesson when he was a boy and it also hit hard. There are two types of people in the world, the sheep and the wolf, decide where you fit in. Do you really wanna be a sucka all your life? Standing on the stands, watching life frizzle into obscurity. The wolf’s are the go getters, they make things happen, they will things into existence, they make the money, they fuck the bitches, like Tony Montana they are portrayed as the bad guy. Would you rather be the lousy sheep? Following orders, “doing the right thing”, staying in your lane, playing it safe, boring as watching two coat painting dry. The Gilligan Universe shows us something different, fast paced, big money, bloody, murderous, exciting! Life is boring why not add spice, lie, cheat, extort, manipulate, murder, get away with it and repeat. Walter White had noble aims for dealing Crystal Meth, a high school teacher struck with the news that he has cancer, to compound things he has mortgage problems and can’t avoid to pay for Chemotherapy. He turns to Chemistry and starts cooking Crystal Meth and it proves to be lucrative. As his power accrues he becomes a monster and killing becomes routine. Cause when you kill one, then you have already crossed the line, you have transgressed, you are already a sinner, you are already condemned and going to hell why not do it again? One day it starts being normal and the cost of business and killing in cold blood becomes a part of you, you gain a reputation, you become the grim reaper.

ANTAKALIPA

ANTAKALIPA

I used to attend primary school and high school WITH antakalipa. Yea cool guy, was well-liked by everybody but I didn’t know him that much. At primary school, I saw him on the play ground and afterschool but that’s just about it, he was not in my class. It was at high school when we had our first real encounter. It was winter and I had on my white Che Guevara bennie. Che Guevara was embroidered in black on the front and it was the most awesome bennie ever! Expensive too, I parted away with R250 to purchase that bennie. Ridiculous money to pay for a bennie at the time as they ranged from R20 – R60 but it was an investment for me. I bought that bennie with my acting money so it was special and dear to me. There was pride attached to that bennie and I knew it made me look cool – that was the whole point. I had it for 2 years and I guarded it with my life. In the morning while I was walking to school, I had it on and he saw it and flipped. He went crazy! I was surprised, I mean he knew who Che Guevara was, my peers didn’t know who Che Guevara was. Sure maybe they recognised the image because it’s iconic but that’s just about it. He loved my bennie! I reciprocated his energy and shared in with his enthusiasm. I was flattered and he made me feel good. Then he made his move, he asked to borrow it for up until afterschool. I told him “nah”, I mean it was not the schools color. The school’s official bennie color is green and anything other than that will probably get confiscated. I was careful when I wore my bennie, I wore it only when I walked to school in the mornings and put it in my bag before school started. It was enough time to show-off and for the other kids to see me. I never rubbed it on people’s faces, I respected the authority figures. Beside it was way too valuable to me, I didn’t want any problems. I always did things by the book. He pressed and pressed until I relented but I gave him conditions. I told him to look after my bennie, don’t advertise it to the RCL’s and teachers, only on breaks and make sure you are secured! I figured his a good guy and well-liked by all and he appealed to my ego and mirrored back my taste. How could I insist on no? I have a self-image and like everybody else I believe I am a good person. Denying him the opportunity to be cool with my bennie would contradict that self-image. “Just one day” I thought, “you know him, his a good guy. Have faith, trust him”. Big mistake. Afterschool when I requested for my bennie back, he told me that an RCL confiscated it and that he’d get it on Friday. I brewed inside but I didn’t let him see it, I decided to give him a chance. I am not stupid, I knew he knocked me my bennie but I waited for Friday. He didn’t even look for me, I had to take the initiative. He was avoidant like somebody who owes you money, I couldn’t locate him until afterschool. Afterschool I went to his transport and I finally got him. I asked him about my bennie and he said he didn’t have it, that the very same RCL had it, then he dismissed me, he left, he showed no remorse, he just didn’t care. I let him be, I didn’t go looking for my bennie anymore. He was careless and I knew that one day I’d get him. We were in the 8th grade, I decided to play the long game and I took the lose. “One day is one day”, I thought.

4 years later, in the 12th grade, the last grade of high school and we are in the same class, everything is all good, the bennie incident is even forgotten. One day in Math’s class, the teacher had us sit in groups. There was this study pack book that had past question papers dating back 5-6 years, the book also contained memos for these question papers and a lot of other additional resources and stuff. It was the holy grail of mathematics, that book was your route to a distinction in math’s. It wasn’t offered at school, you had to purchase it. Most of the learners in class didn’t have it, including myself but He had it. At most we had 6 in the class so we split into groups. Along with the other gents we rounded his book. When the bell rang for end of period. He rushed out to EGD class because there was a project he needed to finish, the other EGD guys also did the same. Only the Computer guys were chilled, we didn’t have anywhere to rush off to. The class split and he left the book with a couple of us gents. He knew he’d get it and why not? We are reliable, goodfellas. No need to worry, rush off to EGD class my good man. The gents left the book on the table because they didn’t want the responsibility so I took custody of the book. Everything flashed back and I remembered my Che Guevara bennie, the devil manifested himself in my smile. A wronged heart never forgets. It turns out revenge was simmering in the background all along. “He is careless” I thought, “I got you”. The next day he came to me requesting for his math’s textbook, the gents told him it was with me. I replied firmly “I don’t have your math’s textbook” and I dismissed him and walked away. It was cold and detached, I just didn’t care. A friend of mine came up to me and asked “Why don’t you give antakalipa his math’s textbook”, I simply replied “Nah, he knows”. The look on his face when I held back giving him his textbook was worth the 4 years waiting for him to slip-up. My body was filled with happiness. He couldn’t do anything. He knew that I had the textbook because everybody told him that I had the book and they were right. His eyes were sad. He was pained. My whole being brimmed with satisfaction. He deserved it! In my heart I knew I’d get him and it happened right at the end. Revenge is a dish best served cold. That’s my story with antakalipa but to me just a guy, the wiseguy who stole my Che Guevara bennie.

Heisenberg purity

Heisenberg purity

Paul Heyman and Roman Reigns on my socials for years and there’s still some confusion about my position in the mortality spectrum. I do whatever to win! I thought my position was clear when I stated that ‘I am on a heel turn’. I despise purity because it’s pretentious, disguised and filthy. It’s the pure ones that do all the manipulating, they have learned to camouflage themselves with the consensus of the majority while aligning themselves with virtues that seem righteous but are two-faced like a coin and leave much to the imagination. Hypocrites, they hide under the morality that plagues their existence. They are fakes, they smile in my face and start smear campaigns when my back is turned. I like the bad guys more, there’s no pretensions, anything can happen, things are out in the open and your life is in danger. There’s no mirrors, smokescreens and theatricalies, no need for passive aggressive antics, just the consciousness that if you get out of line, I am going to whack you. I don’t like the pure ones because they secretly yearn for power, it’s in their actions, their demeanor, the disguised sly commentary, passive aggressive behavior, the perceived innocence white as snow, the victim mentality and their righteous indignation. Meek is dangerous ask Gandi and the English. How can you trust an individual who has blood more pure than Christ? I wish human beings were good, saintly, creatures who lived on love and farted butterflies. But it’s not like that isn’t it? A dark side exists and people want what you have, violence and if you’re stubborn death is a means for reposition. How can someone be truly whole when they don’t acknowledge their dark side? To claim you are white as snow is to refute you’re black as death. Arrogance, do you think that you are a better human being than me? White privilege can’t save your soul. I don’t like the pure ones, they make me uncomfortable, everything is a show and their smiles are fake. Face drips off schadenfreude through their pores every time I have a bad day. Nah, I don’t like the pure ones, I prefer drunkards, wife-beaters, criminals and prostitutes, at least they are real, they don’t try to be what they are not, they are flawed, vulnerable, confused, human and roaming about a maze they didn’t create and attempting to survive. Psychopaths exist but they are a product of this maze so they have my compassion and understanding. All of life has my compassion and understanding. Existence is difficult, no one has the answers and we all are going to die. Why would you want to be Jesus Christ? Did you forget his best friend was Mary Magdalene? I’d rather call Saul.

Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad

What is good? What is bad? Cause when Walter White started cooking crystals to secure his family’s future I was with him. Life is not fair and sometimes it makes no sense at all. I mean what is the alternative? He has cancer and can’t afford to pay for Chemo because he works in a profession that doesn’t pay much. He is overqualified and his teaching job isn’t maximizing his talents. He has kids and has been diagnosed to live for a couple of months. Even if he reached into the family’s savings to pay for the Chemo, its not guaranteed that he’ll survive, cause what if he pays the 300K for the treatment and perishes anyways. What then? What about the kids? What about their futures? What about the house? The unsurmountable debt? No college fund, what about the kids dreams? No insurance, what about that safety net? Is that the legacy you want to leave for your family? Are you really going to leave behind your kids hungry, scrambling for survival, living off bread crumbs? What about your honor as a man? What about your pride? What is your use? You lived your whole life as an honest man, working to secure your family’s future and now cancer is wiping off your whole existence. Maybe you know of people who can pay off the treatment but is that a way to live? Being a charity case for people who screwed you over? People who built their empire on what you started and claimed it for themselves. It’s guilt money, a bribe, they are paying you off! Of course that’s not how they will present it because human beings are sophisticated creatures and theatricality is the order of the day. Maybe they do care and genuinely want you to beat the cancer but deep down you’ll know. You’ll feel the bondage and entitlement. Sure they stole your work to get to the top but they also saved your life, let’s face it, you owe them. How is that fair? You screw me over and still manage to get the last laugh. Nah fuck em! If I can do something to alter destiny then I will, even if it means cooking crystals. I am already on borrowed time, I am knowledgeable, I might as well go all out. This way at least I have a chance, I can procure the funds for the Chemo treatment, I can secure my family’s future, I can be useful, I can be a man, I can be proud of myself. It’s not like I am stealing the money, I’ll be earning it. I understand that drugs cause harm and death is a relative but what is the alternative? Give up to cancer and die? Leave my family broke, leave them with nothing except a memory. A memory that was stained by suffering and a prolonged death towards the end. Everything I do, I do because of my love for my family. What’s so bad about that? What’s the use of having the knowledge and not putting it to use? Laboring years for a system that rebukes you. What does “overqualified” even mean? Everyone else is flourishing as a result of their hard labor. Why can’t I be the best that I can be? What is ethics and morality in a Godless Universe? Everybody dies, time forgets and nothing matters in any case. You tell me, what is good, what is bad? Is your criteria subjective or objective? Cause if the people want crystals I am happy cooking it for them, we are adults with freewill and it will be the best, most purist crystal meth in the world.

You think you got a good wife but when the kitchen gets heated she dashes out and goes fucking her boss. After everything I’ve done for the family, after everything I’ve sacrificed. I did everything for the family, she doesn’t recognize that, she doesn’t acknowledge me. All she does is criticize, criticize and criticize. How I wish words were sufficient to make you see the broader picture. It’s like I’ve become an outsider, an enemy, she wants a divorce, she doesn’t love me anymore, it’s like we don’t have a history. Sure I lied but it was to protect you and the family. I wasn’t fucking random bitches, I was working to secure the family’s future. A man’s job is to provide and it has been that way since the beginning of time. How you gonna persecute me for doing what comes natural? Watching the show, I was disgusted with Walts wife Skylar, she abandoned him. She had a righteous aura about her, she judged Walt, she elevated herself above Walt. The balls on her to sleep with her boss. Walter Jr, is correct, she is a bitch! I mean sleeping with your boss to spite me, to get me to react, to get your way? That is devious, beyond Machiavellian. How is that morally justified? I cook crystals to secure the family’s future and you fuck your boss because you disagree with my methods? Where’s your loyalty? You made an oath to be by my side. Nobody’s perfect but how you gon consciously do that? Repeatedly at that! You don’t respect me. You don’t support me. You don’t want to see my perspective. Who made you God to judge over life like that? You are a bad person Skylar, an example of what a wife shouldn’t be. Fuck you too bitch, here are your divorce papers all signed, you got what you wanted I am leaving! Hope you choke on that assholes dick and die!

“Woah! Slow down big fella don’t make this personal”, I’ll try. The show made me emotional and my moral compass was tested. You might make a point for Skylar and suggest that she was only thinking about what was best for her and her family. When it comes to family self-preservation and survival triumphs all. Distancing yourself from a drug dealer is a good move as implications might lead to a difficult life. Stay and you are an accomplice, an accessory, a collaborator of all the crimes. Stay and everybody is a murderer cause you all enablers. Who wants to be on the front pages of morning papers and grace the tabloids columns? It’s disgraceful and worse you might lose everything you worked so hard to achieve. Good points but there’s holes, Skylar was already flirting with his boss before she found out the truth about Walt. It was just a matter of time before something metastasized. She just wanted an excuse to fuck him and she got one. Lines are blurred, I don’t know what is good and bad anymore but I do identify with the protagonist, that’s my nigga, I am with him, I understand. I progressed with him on his Arc. In my view good and bad is a matter of perspective, they are labels that don’t mean all that much – life goes on, we all make our choices and then they make us. Life is not black or white it’s far too complicated because we are complicated creatures who live in a world we don’t understand. There is no definite blueprint for a successful life and everybody is doing their best. Everybody in the show transgressed, everybody in the show is bad, everybody in the show is guilty. I salute the creator Vince Galligan and everyone involved with the show. The characters of the show are complex and troubled. How do you save somebody like Jesse when he believes in his heart that he is a bad guy. The criminals are super professional, have high levels of empathy, supremely intelligent and hide in plain view. Judge one of the characters and it reflects back at you, you feel like a hypocrite because you see yourself in their actions. It is an absolute masterclass, one of the greatest shows of all time. The acting is unbelievable and the writing superb. I was addicted to the show, I couldn’t stop watching. It is excellence. It gripped me, I loved it!